Hatfield Church - Vicar's Notes

Meeting another’s N-E-E-D

February 2010

Are you an energiser or a drainer? Do you, by what you say, energise other people, lifting them, encouraging them? Or do you drain them, lowering their self-esteem, discouraging them? Do you say things and later regret upsetting someone else? Do you open your mouth before engaging gear? Are you just a grumpy person who doesn't care what others think about what you say...?

As we approach Lent this February, I'd like us, as a Church, to consider the difficult things Jesus had to deal with during those forty days in the wilderness. What kind of things faced him, tempted him, tortured him and changed him, so that when he emerged he was clear about God's purpose for his life. It was a crucial time for Jesus in preparing him for his ministry, especially how he would speak.

And I'd like us to take up the challenge this Lent, for six weeks, to resolve to do the following - to speak only blessings into people's lives and to speak evil of no-one.

The easiest thing in the world is to be negative, to criticise, to "say what you feel". We must strive to speak encouraging words that will make another person feel good. "The tongue of the wise brings healing" (Proverbs 12:18).

Can I suggest that we consider the following; that before we speak, we ask ourselves "How can I meet this person's N-E-E-D?

Firstly ask yourself, (before you say whatever it is)

N: is it necessary? Do I really need to say this?

E: will it emancipate? Will it set the other person free? Or will it bind them and restrict them?

E: will it energise and encourage them? Or will it deflate and discourage them?

D: will it dignify them? Or will it help to condemn them and embarrass them?

What we say can be like a powerful medicine, or it can be like deadly poison. The Devil is the only accuser - don't be like the Devil! The way we choose to speak to another person can also have a dramatic influence on others.

Jesus spoke only when it was necessary. He didn't just say what he felt like saying. He didn't respond to others because he had an inferiority complex. He didn't lash out at others because someone had upset him. Jesus spoke the truth. To those who were keeping others locked in their guilt he spoke the truth and gave them clear options. To those who were the downtrodden and the hurting he spoke words of healing and release. This is the work he left us to continue, to bless people by our words and not condemn them.

"We all make many mistakes, but those who control their tongues can also control themselves in every other way...the tongue is a small thing, but what enormous damage it can do" (James 3:2, 5)

This Lent, let us, together, remember that before we speak, we must consider another's

N-E-E-D.

With every blessing this Lent. Paul